


No Blood

by Zlu_and_Luff



Category: Bloodborne (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Disillusionment, Happy Ending, Illness, M/M, Sacrifice, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zlu_and_Luff/pseuds/Zlu_and_Luff
Summary: After the Good Hunter ascends, Laurence's final master plan comes to fruition, and Yharnam is saved from the shadow of the Old Blood once and for all. The Healing Church is never to become reality. Laurence has sacrificed his misguided ambitions, now will he live to regret it?Can be read as a continuation of Local Vicar Ruins Everything or on its own.





	1. Awakening

The nightmare lasted. Eternal. Ever repeating. Cyclical like the turning of a wheel. Like the Moon.

There was no escape from it, no solace. No respite. 

The closest to those things one could get were glimpses of oblivion.

Ludwig knew oblivion, he treasured it when it finally came. When it enveloped what was left of him. It was impossible for him to still be alive. But in this realm of horror everything that brought agony was real and tangible, while any hope was but a fleeting illusion, a torture in its own right.

When in the corner of his eye he caught reflections of firelight sparkling on the blood that soaked the floor of the cavernous cellar, he thought it was another empty illusion.

And yet it grew in intensity while the stench of corpses, blood and filth faded, as if it was burnt away. Warily Ludwig glanced towards the source of the light and his breath caught in his non-existent chest.

A figure clad in firelight was approaching. It was tall at first, taller than human, but it shrunk as it came closer, as if burning away. The walls of the cellar began to shake and pulsate as if something was pulling on the very fabric of reality. Daylight broke through the stones, crumbling the mortar, but Ludwig hardly noticed that as he stared in shock and disbelief at the small robed man standing before him, still burning like an effigy, but triumphant.

Laurence grinned madly, arms raised in a victorious gesture as the world was collapsing around them.

“It worked! We are saved, my love! We are free!” Laurence laughed.

He knelt. Ludwig gaped up at him, expecting to be lifted whole in this disembodied state, but instead Laurence touched his shoulder, took his hand, guided him up, back on his feet. The Holy Blade stumbled back in shock, unused to standing on just two legs.

The look on Laurence’s face turned into one of concern and affection.

“It is over, Ludwig. The Nightmare is no more.”

Ludwig stared at him, then at his own hands. None of this could be real. And yet he felt the familiar leather of his gauntlets. He saw the walls of his prison crack and fade to dust. The corpses and blood were all gone. The two of them stood in a bright expanse of sunlight. Laurence kept smiling.

Tears rolled out of Ludwig’s eyes. He threw himself at the small man, grasping him into a crushing embrace. He wept on his shoulder, confessing love and longing, praising the heavens, begging that this blissful delusion never end.

“It won’t, beloved,” Laurence cooed. “Our mistakes have been undone. My plan finally bore fruit.”

Ludwig didn’t listen. He clung to the shorter man, terrified that any moment he would disappear. 

But he didn’t. 

Ludwig withdrew enough to look his dead lover in the eyes.

Laurence smiled at him. There was sympathy in his expression, and fondness. Ludwig touched the side of his face with one gloved hand, and Laurence leaned into the touch. Ludwig sobbed and pulled him close again.

“Do not be afraid, my love.”

“I’m not. I missed you so much. Laurence…”

“Ssh, it’s over, we’ll be together now.”

“Are we dead?”

“Far from it,” Laurence sounded dreamy and pleased with himself like he did when he had a well-crafted theory to present. “Judging by the state of the Nightmare, we will wake soon. Alive and well.”

“I can’t believe it.” Ludwig shook his head, tears still rolling out of his eyes. “This could not be. We are damned, we are damned forever.”

“No, my love, we are not. What one Great One can make another can undo. And I’ve made sure this one was well-bred.”

Ludwig shuddered, memories of horrors unforgotten stirring in his disjointed mind. He looked at Laurence’s face in fear and revulsion, but Laurence wasn’t looking at him anymore, he gazed at the horizon triumphantly.

The world around grew ever lighter. The vicar’s visage faded. Ludwig gripped him tighter, but he seemed to slip away. Finally, Laurence looked back at him and smiled warmly again. “Calm down, Ludwig, we are waking, that is all. There will be no more Nightma-”


	2. Bloodloss

Laurence scrambled out of bed, threw his scholar robes on top of his nightshirt and ran through the still sleeping dormitory. 

No one questioned where Master Willem’s brightest student was going at this hour of morning. No one stopped him when he demanded access to the finds from the underground labyrinth. No one expected the betrayal that followed.

* * *

Days later.

Laurence sat forlornly in the corner of the cheapest pub in town.

The deed was done. But the elation that he had felt when he poured acid over Byrgenwerth’s most prized finds had faded. 

Now he looked back on what he had done and wondered… was that even real? Was the nightmare, that impossibly detailed life-long tragedy, a vision of the future or merely a ridiculously impressive dream? A part of him was convinced that it all really happened, that his mind had in a mysterious way returned from that disastrous potential reality with a mission to prevent it. But at the same time a small voice at the back of his head was screaming that he had just destroyed not only university property, but his entire future based on a mere nighttime delusion.

Master Willem would never let him back into the university, not for all the money in the world. And he hardly even had enough to survive a month on his own.

What had he done…

The normally crammed stinking pub was quite empty at this rather early hour, so when the door outside opened, Laurence involuntarily glanced towards it.

His eyes opened wide behind the thick glass of his spectacles. Towards him marched the well-familiar figure of the statuesque nobleman from his nightmare, the one bright beacon that had led him upon waking to destroy the accursed Old Blood.

“Ludwig…” 

Laurence barely managed to get up, when Ludwig’s strong hands grabbed his shoulders.

“Are the rumors true? The Byrgenwerth artifacts? The Old Blood?! Did you really destroy it?!” Ludwig stared wildly into his eyes. He was so much younger than Laurence remembered, but he looked different - jaded and unwell. Well, that made the two of them!

“I… uh, I did it,” Laurence stuttered and grinned. 

Ludwig was real, it was so wonderful…

“All of it?! Did you destroy all of it, Laurence? It cannot be recreated?”

“Yes, yes, I poured acid over everything. It’s all gone. But Ludwig, you… you had the dream too, didn’t you? You…” Laurence was lost for words, he just smiled up at the man, unable to feel anything but gladness even though the dark circles under Ludwig’s eyes worried him. He was alive. He was a man. Everything was going to be alright… “You came for me…”

Ludwig frowned and let him go.

Laurence’s smile faded, but then it clawed its way back into his features. “I’m so glad to see you… I thought I had just dreamt you up, that it was all unreal…”

“I wish,” Ludwig muttered glumly. 

Laurence gave him a questioning look, but the taller man averted his eyes. 

This was… strange. At the end of the dream, when they’d met again after death and oblivion, Ludwig had seemed so happy to see him. And now he wouldn’t even look at him.

Laurence tilted his head to the side, trying to meet his lover’s eyes again. This time Ludwig turned away.

“I suppose you don’t have a place to stay.” His voice was cold and resigned, almost disdainful. “Come then.” He turned away and strode out of the pub not waiting for Laurence to follow.


	3. Knowledge

The atmosphere was no more cordial when the two men found themselves alone inside Ludwig’s carriage. Laurence studied the other man quietly, puzzled by the sudden hostility. Ludwig sat with his arms crossed, looking out of the window or at anything else except Laurence.

Laurence cleared his throat.

“I can’t help but notice your unease, Ludwig. If I may, I would like to once more assure you, the Old Blood is no more. There will be no Healing Church, no Plague of Beasts and no Hunt. There is nothing to worry-”

“I’m not worried, Laurence. I’m angry.”

“Angry?” Laurence fixed his spectacles and gave Ludwig an incredulous look.

“Yes, I’m furious that after all that happened… that  _ would _ have happened, I am still dragging your vileness into my life.”

Laurence half-smiled, but that expression was washed off his face when it was met with Ludwig's hateful glare.

“Don’t get any ideas! I am only helping you because you’ve nowhere to go, and, frankly, it would be a crime to let you out of my sight when I know what you’re capable of.”

Laurence frowned. “Oh, please, we both know I meant well. And look, here we are, it’s all been undone.”

“Yes, but how far were you ready to go if you could?! How could I have been so blind?” Ludwig’s hands balled into fists. Even though his fancy nobleman clothes were nothing like a hunter's garb, he suddenly looked capable of cold-blooded murder. “I had plenty of time to think after I woke and raced here. All those experiments, all the atrocities, Laurence, you’ve had your hand in all of them, while you still lived and long after you were dead.”

“I have. I can’t deny that. But I did what had to be done. When I knew we were all doomed, I had to find a solution, the price was irrelevant. And it is irrelevant now, none of it happened!”

“And it never will, I’ll make sure it won’t. Old Blood or none, you are a sick manipulative bastard with a thirst for power, and it's my moral responsibility to keep an eye on you.”

Laurence stared at his lover in confusion. Ludwig’s face bore a grimace of hate and heartache, it was painful to look at.

“Please, Lu, try to understand, I did it for us.”

“For _us_?” Ludwig snorted derisively. “No, Laurence, you always did everything for your own self. For you and you alone. I was a fool for thinking otherwise. I was nothing more than a glorified pawn on your chessboard. Even when your clerics locked me up in an underground cell and fed prisoners to the beast that I’d become, I still believed in you. I missed you. Oh, I missed you so much, all my suspicions faded into nothing. But then you came to me and freed me, and now I finally could look at all that had happened from a fresh perspective.” Ludwig looked away, visibly pained by the recollection. “There will never be anything between us, Laurence. I will not let you die a destitute dropout, but I will never let a viper like you into my heart again.”

Laurence felt his stomach sink. “I… I didn’t know about the cell… Was it the place I found you in? I didn’t think it was real-”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what you think. Or what new lies you are planning to spin. Be quiet! Or I’ll have you ride outside with the coachman.”

Laurence said nothing. In the end, seeing no point in mulling over his shattered hopes, the never-to-be-vicar got as comfortable as he could in his seat and fell into a shallow troubled sleep.


	4. Contained

The lands that belonged to Ludwig’s family lay a good deal of distance away from Byrgenwerth. Laurence would have found the views delightful if he could so much as share the observation with his companion without being met with more well-earned hostility. So he kept quiet.

He couldn’t deny Ludwig had all rights to be angry and resentful. He had kept his lover in the dark about too many things. But now it was all naught but a bad dream, and Laurence hoped that perhaps as time went by Ludwig would find it in his heart to forgive him. In the meantime he had to do his best to earn that forgiveness and… survive.

He tried not to show it, but the trip was draining him not only emotionally, but physically too. In Byrgenwerth he had had a very strict regimen of diet and exercise that kept his condition at bay, but now on the road, trying to not be a nuisance and give further reasons for Ludwig to be cross with him, Laurence felt his well being was suffering. Thankfully, before he could sabotage his health to any significant measure the journey finally came to an end, and after a warm welcome from Ludwig’s kind and magnanimous family, Laurence was able to get some rest in the guest rooms he was provided with.

In the days that followed Laurence saw much more of Ludwig’s parents and siblings than he did of the man himself. His rooms were the furthest from Ludwig’s, their meetings were intentionally brief with Ludwig always excusing himself and leaving as swiftly as possible. Still, Laurence got along splendidly with the rest of the family. 

One day, he was having a small philosophical discussion with Ludwig’s younger sister when the man himself suddenly re-appeared and sent his sister away, allegedly on their mother’s request.

“Am I not allowed to talk to your kin anymore?” Laurence asked dryly.

“You are. For now. But it’s been two weeks. Don’t you think it’s time you thought of making yourself useful.”

“Useful how?” Laurence arched a brow.

“I don’t know. There’s plenty of things to do in the city. I’m sure we could get you work in the library or someplace else where they will take someone who’s been to Byrgenwerth, regardless of your lack of official credentials.” Ludwig refused to look at him.

“Lovely.” Laurence winced. “But I had something else in mind. From what I’ve understood the local hospital is currently understaffed and-”

“No, out of the question. I will not have you start your cult all over again!”

“I’m not starting a cult. I just want to use what non-arcane knowledge of medicine I possess.”

“No.”

“Ludwig. We both know it’s what I’m best at. Let me do this.”

“You don’t have a doctorate.”

“Your family was offering to pay for my education-”

Ludwig grabbed him by the lapels. “You are not living here any longer! I won’t have you poisoning their minds like you did with me! Pack your things. I’ll have a room in the city ready for you this very night.”

“I… uh…” Laurence looked up into his lover’s eyes and saw nothing but distrust and fury there. “I will do so… But, please, consider the hospital idea. I’ll let you in on everything I do. I’ll write regular reports, you can assign a trusted servant to watching over me if you don’t trust me.”

Ludwig lowered him back into the armchair Laurence had previously occupied and let him go. “No. That’s my answer at present. No hospitals, no universities, no experiments. I will assign a servant to you. And if you give me one reason to suspect foul play I will send you back to your own family.”

Laurence looked down at the floor. Ludwig couldn’t mean it. There was no way back for him, they both knew it, and this, this couldn’t be a death threat. He shook his head. “I won’t give you reason to.”

“Fine.” Ludwig spun on his heel and left.


	5. Aggravation

Three months had passed. 

Despite Ludwig’s stubborn protests, Laurence got his practice and a tiny clinic in the city to treat the poor, financed by charitable donations. Everything he did was scrutinized, and when rumors reached Ludwig that the man whose activities his family was financing was digging up corpses in the local graveyard, he had personally turned the clinic upside down. Finding no proof to those claims he was forced to back down, and for a while Laurence worked in peace.

It wasn’t such a bad life. But it was lonely.

Every other week Laurence went to visit his benefactors, and every time Ludwig avoided him. After several failed attempts to corner him, Laurence finally found the man reading in a far corner of the estate’s gardens.

Quietly he walked over to his once-lover and sat down next to him on the bench.

Ludwig looked at him over the edge of his book and rolled his eyes, hiding his face from sight behind the volume.

“Lu…”

“Don’t call me that.”

Laurence sighed. “I’ve asked for your forgiveness. I’ve let your bloodhound of a maid watch my every move and read every single note I make, and I will continue to do so. What more do you want from me? When will I earn your trust?”

“It’s not my trust you’re after.”

“You’re right, it’s not. I… I miss you terribly, Lu, please…”

Ludwig snapped the book closed and rose, striding off before Laurence could even rise to follow.

The smaller man hung his head. Would Ludwig ever forgive him?

* * *

The young lad was too faint to stand.

“Sit. Yes, yes, sit in my chair. Here.” Laurence guided the hazy youth and sat him down. He told his patient to remove his shirt and looked around for his stethoscope. It was nowhere to be found. The nurse must have taken it. No matter. Laurence leaned down, took off his glasses and pressed his ear to the lad’s sweaty skin.

He listened, giving commands now and then. The lungs were clearly affected. It all made sense now. But just in case he had the lad breathe through his mouth again.

Heavy steps outside didn’t let him hear the breath properly. Someone knocked on the door and opened it without even waiting for a response.

“What in the name of everything holy? I’m busy,” Laurence hissed, reaching for his glasses.

Before he managed to put them back on the door was slammed closed. But the thunderous bang it produced gave Laurence a frightful idea. “Wait here!” He left his patient and hurried out into the corridor. It was empty, so stumbling he ran to the door outside. Through the tarnished glass he saw a familiar monumental figure disappear swiftly in the crowd.

Laurence sighed and heavily leaned against the wall. He had no chance to catch up with Ludwig’s pace even if he ran. And even if he did, what could he say or do to appease Ludwig’s incessant anger? He had undone the past! He had sacrificed his ambitions, his hopes, his sight, his very salvation! There was nothing more he could offer, nothing else that could mend Ludwig’s hurt but time. And time was in short supply.

Laurence took off his heavy spectacles. What of his surroundings he could still see drowned in a blur. Even through his glasses he only saw fuzzy approximations of things, riddled with spots like black mold. Darkness was advancing from every direction, and soon his world would drown in it. He was tired no matter how much he slept. Little aches of all kinds had become his eternal companions. There was no respite, no cure and no hope.

He put the glasses back on.

His patient was waiting.

There was work to be done.


	6. Revelations

“Good afternoon, Ludwig.”

This time the bigger man didn’t even look up at him.

Laurence squinted trying to decipher the title of Ludwig’s book. He didn’t manage. But it didn’t matter. Ludwig had been hiding in literature for too long. And they still had one last job to do.

“Ludwig, I am not here to beg for your affection. Could you, please, grant me a smidgen of your time and attention?”

“Speak.” Ludwig still stared into the book, but if Laurence saw it correctly his eyes stopped darting across the page and focused on one point instead.

“I have destroyed the Old Blood, as I have truthfully told you. Along with all the other crucial finds that have been made. All of those loose ends are tied. But there is one more.”

Ludwig glanced up at him, but avoided looking him in the eyes, instead his gaze settled on the cobblestones beside Laurence’s feet.

“The Fishing Hamlet. They still worship Kos there. The Great One whose offspring we had… taken… in that other version of events. It’s a backwater, but if the Healing Church had found out about them, so could someone else. We have to go there and warn them to keep their secrets hidden better this time around.”

Ludwig shut the book. “I’ll go.”

“No!” Laurence raised his hands, as if preparing to physically stop Ludwig from going, which would have been impossible for someone his size. It looked comical, but neither of them could appreciate the humor. “We need to go together. I… don’t feel safe going there alone. And you don’t know enough about the hamlet and its… peculiarities. I would only ask for your help with getting there, I can handle the rest.”

“Fine.” Ludwig rose. “When are you ready to go?”

“As soon as you are, I have made arrangements for my absence at the clinic.”

“I expect you to be at the stables in an hour then.”

“We’re going by carriage, I hope…”

Ludwig’s glare made Laurence look away.

“I… I’m just not much of a rider…”

“We both know,” Ludwig said venomously, “that’s just not  _ true _ .” He turned and strode away.

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell me about the Fishing Hamlet earlier?”

Laurence shrugged. “You were too freshly out of the Nightmare. I didn’t want to drag you into another one right away. I wanted to give you time to heal.”

“Heal…” Ludwig sneered. “How thoughtful of you.”

Laurence said nothing.

“What else are you hiding, Laurence? I’ve found out about many of your inhumane experiments. Their victims were often tossed into my cell when they were no longer useful. We did not talk, sadly, I just tore them to shreds, as was expected of me, but I do remember some of their strange features, their dying screams, their pleas for mercy…”

Laurence shifted uneasily.

“And so I wonder what other such ‘noble exploits’ have you kept from me? What even happened in that Fishing Hamlet that scarred Gehrman and his hunters?”

“A massacre,” Laurence admitted quietly.

“Oh? How lovely. Another atrocity you sanctioned, I presume.”

Laurence sighed. “Yes. It was on my orders. The locals would not let us have Kos’ child. And we needed it to cure the Scourge…”

“Truly? It must be all the time I spent as a giant horse monster in a corpse-filled dungeon, but I can’t quite remember the Scourge being lifted back then!”

The two men exchanged angry glares and went back to looking at everything but each other.

“It didn’t work out quite as well as I had hoped, but it allowed to create the Hunter’s Dream that had saved all of us. It was a Dream Hunter that had ascended to godhood and unfurled time itself to give us this moment.”

“Explain.”

“One of the last plans I had before my mind deteriorated completely was to get outsiders, untainted by the blood and send them on a singular mission.” Laurence looked down at the floor, ready for the next surge of disapproval that was bound to follow his tale. “I’d ordered children to be stolen from visiting foreigners. They were to be trained and raised with a single quest - to seek out a particular Great One and stop the Hunt and the Plague of Beasts once and for all. When they were trained into perfect hunters and ready to start, their memories were wiped or altered with a special solution, and a pact was made that allowed them to partake of the Old Blood without succumbing to Beasthood. I estimate there were very many of them. Hundreds, maybe thousands. One succeeded. And here we are.”

“What has become of them?”

“I don’t know. The ascended one must be a god now.”

“And the others?”

Laurence shrugged.

“Whenever I think you’ve surpassed all my estimations of your villainy, you always manage to surprise me. Stealing children… I dread to imagine what other things were going on behind my back that entire time.” Ludwig shook his head. “You are despicable.”

“If it would close the matter once and for all, I can tell you all that I hid from you in those days. All the letters I have left for my scholars, all my orders, all my… deeds…”

Ludwig watched him coldly for a while, arms crossed. Finally, he said “Enlighten me.”


	7. Fresh Air

Laurence slept fitfully that night. Time after time he saw Ludwig’s judging glare in his dreams, time after time he tried to appeal to him, to beg forgiveness, and instead saw half of his lover’s face twist into a monstrous equine shape and scream accusations at him till he woke up in cold sweat.

They spoke little on the days that followed.

Ludwig had brought books with him. He generously offered to share them with Laurence, but after a few attempts to read in the moving carriage Laurence gave up. The travel hardly agreed with him as it was.

Every now and then Ludwig tossed him attentive looks, but he never said a word.

Laurence just sprawled in his seat and tried not to die yet.

* * *

Ludwig marched up the hill at a merciless pace. According to Laurence it was a long walk and he did not want to be caught in the village or the woods at nighttime.

They had left the carriage and servants at a small settlement off the main road, and now they ventured into complete wilderness. There was a path running through the woods, but the forest was thick and uninviting, and after few undone lifetimes of hunting monsters, Ludwig couldn’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline.

It was almost exciting in a good way. There had been a certain pleasure in the Hunt. He couldn’t deny that. Despite the death and the horror and the darkness. A certain thrill that nothing could possibly equal.

There was no game in the world above ground like there was in the Chalice Dungeons. Sometimes he even thought of going back to Byrgenwerth and helping them continue the exploration, but he dreaded the possibility that another arrogant scholar would choose to ignore Master Willem’s wisdom and bring the horrors of the Scourge onto the world in one way or another. Ludwig did not want to play any part in that.

Laurence had assured him that the Chalice Dungeons would not produce anything quite as dangerous again, but he wasn’t sure he could trust Laurence on that, or anything else.

Speaking of Laurence, where was that bespectacled imp?

Ludwig looked back.

Laurence was almost at the bottom of the hill, leaning against a tree.

Ludwig rolled his eyes in frustration and headed back down towards him.

“If you keep taking breaks, we’ll never make-” He didn’t finish.

Laurence clearly couldn’t hear him. His face was ashen and wet with perspiration. His eyes stared past Ludwig, his head bobbing weakly. His shaking hands were struggling with removing his glasses. The cane he had brought with him for the trip lay at his feet.

“Are you-”

The smaller man bent over and retched. His legs began shaking and almost gave way under him, and Ludwig rushed to catch him. Laurence heaved. Ludwig carefully removed his glasses before they could drop onto the soiled moss.

Moments passed. Finally, Ludwig leaned the exhausted little man against the tree and produced a flask of water and a handkerchief.

Laurence hardly seemed aware of what was happening.

Ludwig cleaned him up in silence and then picked a spot under a different tree where he seated the man down to rest. He sat down beside him and placed the cane against Laurence’s knee.

The small man nodded off as if he was going to fall asleep.

“Laurence… Laurence, can you hear me?”

“Uh?” Laurence looked beyond him and squinted.

Ludwig realized he still had his glasses, and fumbled in his coat pockets to produce them.

“Here.” He handed them to Laurence.

“Thanks.”

“No problem…”

Ludwig watched Laurence put the glasses back on and then looked away. He felt concerned. But he also realized who he was dealing with. Laurence was the kind of man who would go to any length to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was Ludwig. This entire trip could be an elaborate scheme to win him back. He wasn’t going to have any of it.

Ludwig rose. “Can you walk?”

Laurence looked like a kicked dog. “I, uh, may I rest for a few minutes at least? I’m… I’m out of shape.”

“You sure look much less rotund than I remember, meaning you have less weight to carry. Come now, we’ve still much distance to cover, the fresh air should do you good.”

“No, Ludwig, please, I need to rest.”

Ludwig sighed and sat back down. “Alright. Rest then.”


	8. Unwelcome

Ludwig wasn’t often afraid. But the small fishing village that Laurence had led them to made him much more uneasy than the underground labyrinth ever did.

He guessed it was the fact that down there he and the other Hunters just killed everything that moved on sight whether it came crawling, limping or running towards them. Here he had to stand in place and act civil while creatures that had a hard time passing for humans shambled over the mucky path in front of him.

He did not want to judge a book by its cover and felt a significant measure of goodwill towards these people because of how his fellow Hunters would have treated them on Laurence’s orders. But he couldn’t shake off a feeling of ill will lurking behind those veils and hoods. They seemed to be going about their daily business, yet there was a tension to their movements that betrayed wound up nerves and preparedness for a confrontation.

Perhaps Laurence had worried for naught. These people, if they were people, were as unwelcoming to strangers as one could possibly get.

Ludwig was infinitely relieved when he finally heard familiar footsteps and the clanking of a cane on stone coming from inside the building he was waiting at. He turned to see Laurence in the door frame.

“You should leave. Right now. They do not want you here, you are upsetting the villagers,” Laurence blurted out on one breath. His eyes darted wildly from one hooded shape to another even as his expression remained neutral. “Go, Ludwig. Now.”

“What about you?” Ludwig frowned, studying his compatriot with some suspicion.

“I’ll stay here. They have offered me a chance to help them, but if you don’t leave right now, they might change their minds, now go.”

Ludwig squinted at him and did not move from place.

Anxiety began to show in Laurence’s features. “Go,” he hissed. “Go, now, please, for the love of God, Ludwig, go away!” 

“Very well. But you’re coming with me.”

“What?”

Laurence stumbled down the steps to the house as Ludwig pulled him after himself.

“Let me go, we can’t afford to make a scene…”

“So don’t make a scene and just walk with me.”

“There’s no time…”

Ludwig glanced at his companion. Laurence was looking fearfully behind himself. Ludwig did not need any further explanation. He swept the smaller man off his feet and ran.

The villagers stopped and stared, but did nothing to hinder them. They were almost at the edge of the settlement when a furious yell came from the place they had left, and all Hell broke loose.

Ludwig dodged a spear that struck the wall of a wooden hut inches from his head. He had to ram himself through a group of gawkers to escape their swifter and angrier comrades. He ran through puddles, trampled baskets and jumped over flimsy half-collapsed fences. Finally, he reached the cover of the trees.

“Leave me!” Laurence pleaded. “I’m a burden! They’ll get both of us!”

“So this is how it is?!” Ludwig growled, too furious to stay silent even though he should have spared his breath. “You wanted to trick me into abandoning you again. Not this time, you self-sacrificial asshole! We both make it or we both die, Laurence.” 

Laurence clung to him and for the first time in months, Ludwig wanted to hold him close. But now was not the time for such sentiments. He heard something disturbingly not quite like barking behind them, but he did not stop, instead he ran faster. He would not outrun the hounds, but he would outrun their masters. And hounds would be far easier to deal with on their own.

When the unnatural animal sounds grew too close to hope for evasion, Ludwig set Laurence down next to a tree and produced his rifle and sword.

One shot. The first fishlike abomination fell beyond the trees. Another shot, and one more little monster joined it. The remaining two sprung into the clearing and Ludwig skewered one on his sword. The remaining critter circled him and Laurence for a moment, but then darted back between the trees. Ludwig watched it go as he quickly loaded his rifle. He fired. With an otherworldly yelp the fish dog fell dead in the distance.

“Now, Laurence, we must hurry…”

Ludwig turned to see his companion lying limply on the ground. The tree that he had left him against was stained with blood. Ludwig looked at the scene in horror. And then he saw more blood on the sleeve of his coat.

“Laurence…” He rushed to the little man.

Laurence’s coat had been sliced open on his back. Blood was soaking his cut clothes. Ludwig picked the unconscious man up and ran once more.


	9. Reconciliation

Laurence came to his senses in a bed.

The room was small and unfamiliar. He moved and hissed in pain. His back stung awfully.

A figure stirred in an armchair in the corner of the room. Laurence squinted, but all he could see was a blurry blob, that shifted into a more vertical shape.

“Ludwig?” he asked.

“How are you feeling?” It was Ludwig.

“Alive. So thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Ludwig came closer and put Laurence’s glasses gently onto his face.

Laurence squinted up at him through the thick lenses and saw what was probably concern on Ludwig’s face. 

“You’re terribly unwell.”

“It could have been worse,” Laurence shrugged and instantly regretted it.

“I don’t just mean the cut. Your health. You’re…”

“Diabetic, yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ludwig sounded sad.

“What would it change?”

“And you’re going blind.”

“I  _ know _ .”

“Laurence…” Ludwig’s voice was soft and sad. For once there was no anger and bitterness in it. “Did you know this would happen?”

“Of course, I did.” Laurence sighed.

“Then why did you destroy the Old Blood?” Ludwig sounded frustrated.

Laurence turned away, frowning.

Ludwig watched him silently. His eyes were stinging with tears. He was angry at Laurence for the atrocities this little man was capable of, for the infidelity, the neverending deceit. For the fact Laurence had almost succeeded in pushing him away again when he needed him most.

Why did this brilliant visionary of a man have to be so flawed and infuriating? And why did he have to grow a conscience now when his health was failing beyond hope without the wonders of the Old Blood?

“Why, Laurence?” Ludwig asked softly.

Laurence wept.

Ludwig stared at him, shaken. He so rarely saw Laurence cry. It felt wrong. It always felt so wrong. He remembered the time Laurence wept over him after he was badly injured during a Hunt. And even more poignantly he remembered the night when Laurence cried under his door, begging forgiveness... for things he did in the delirium caused by the Scourge. The last night of Laurence’s previous life. 

Ludwig sat down on the edge of the bed and very carefully pulled the crying man into his arms.

“I just wanted you to be human! I saw what you’d turn into, Ludwig! I saw it when I began falling into the clutches of the Beast. You would come to me speaking of love, and all I would see was that monstrosity you were meant to become! I couldn’t let it happen! I would have bled the city dry to keep you from that fate.” Laurence sobbed into Ludwig’s shirt, his glasses sliding off of his face. “I had to find a cure, I had to cheat fate! I couldn’t let you suffer so, but I did!” Laurence’s small bony form shook. “When I woke in Byrgenwerth all I could think of was undoing your fate, keeping you safe! I knew I wouldn’t live past thirty, forty if I’m lucky, but it didn’t matter, because you would never become a beast, and you would be happy. And now you’re not happy, you’re tormented! I could see you avoiding being near horses, I know you’ve been unwell and fending off nightmares and… And I failed! And you hate me! And I’m going to go completely blind with your disdainful look burned into the back of my eyelids... till I rot!”

Laurence bawled.

Despite the unrefined loud gross sobbing, the sticky sweat-soaked hair and sickliest complexion Ludwig had ever seen on a living person, he was suddenly beautiful. Just like on the day when Ludwig had first spoken of his love to Laurence, he now saw a man who was ready to walk through fire to help someone. A fearless, strong, selfless man whom he had loved through thick and thin, whom he had forgiven the worst mischief and impropriety. Whom he had missed so dearly.

Ludwig pulled him closer and gently lifted his head, fixing his glasses.

“Look now, Laurence. Look. I do not hate you. I never could.”

He smiled through the tears, looking into Laurence’s red foggy eyes.

Laurence stared and then wept again, pressing close.

Ludwig stroked his side, mindful of the back injury. 

“I could not forget your sins, but I have shamefully forgotten your virtues,” he admitted quietly. “I could never thank you enough for this sacrifice, Laurence. I… I don’t deserve-”

“You do! You do, you huge dolt! You always deserved better than me, and you can now have... her, him, whichever you prefer. I’ll be out of your hair before you even know it…” Laurence laughed, suddenly no longer sad.

Ludwig looked at him in terror. “Don’t say such things, you’re not dying yet.”

“But I can. Because you smiled. That… that’s all that matters.”

Laurence pressed close to him, no longer shaking, only his breath was uneven from all the crying.

Ludwig stared at him. 

A little voice at the back of his head said that was exactly what Laurence wanted. It was yet another game. A show of altruism and nobility. A cunning ruse…

No, Ludwig cut the inner monologue short.

No.

He had denied Laurence’s trust when the man begged for his affection on the night before he died. He could not bear to live with the thought that he would now refuse Laurence only to lose him again. That he would let this man die alone once more.

“You should probably look for a woman,” Laurence mused. “A healthy, beautiful, kind woman who would give you many handsome children. The world needs more people like you.”

“Enough of this nonsense,” Ludwig said softly. “You will not be playing matchmaker with me, you cunning devil.” He snorted. “I’ve no interest in courting anyone at the moment. But if you will settle for my friendship, you can have it. I will never abandon you, Laurence. I will be with you always.”

Ludwig stroked Laurence’s cheek. Laurence smiled up at him and nuzzled his hand.

Oh, how right it would have felt to bow down and kiss him now… But Ludwig remembered too vividly all the vileness this very same man was capable of. Laurence was a snake. A serpent he loved, but a serpent nonetheless. Rekindling their relationship so swiftly would have been awfully unwise. Ludwig had grown to know better.

He pressed Laurence against his chest.

“Rest now. We’re far enough from the hamlet not to fear pursuit. There is no hurry, we will continue our journey when your injury allows.”

“Thank you,” Laurence murmured against his shirt.

“You’re welcome.”


	10. Friendship

They returned to Ludwig’s home as if nothing had happened. Laurence went back to his clinic, and Ludwig returned to his solitude for a few more days.

There were many things Laurence had done in that other life that were not forgivable. There were memories of those potential events Ludwig could not erase. And yet he no longer felt the same resentment towards Laurence. He craved to restore at least a fraction of the bond they had once shared.

And so Ludwig’s self-imposed isolation was finally over. 

They began seeing each other again.

On the first few walks they talked about nothing in particular. Ludwig’s recent reads, Laurence’s clinic. The life in the city and the region. The news of the rest of the world.

It was refreshing, Ludwig found, to have all these low-stakes discussions. In that other life he couldn’t forget there had been so much reason for worry. Too much.

It had been glorious at first. Exciting ventures into forgotten worlds below ground, building a new religion based on occult healing and a quest for knowledge. Courtship, love, passion.

And then strife, horror, death, paranoia and betrayal upon betrayal. The years after Laurence’s death were a hollow cold nightmare that wasn’t all that much better than the true Nightmare which came after.

Now, walking slowly over the sunlit paths in his parents’ gardens, Ludwig felt like a very old man who had gone through a life-long war to finally retire in peace and tranquility.

He wasn’t even thirty, but he felt like he was twice that age at least.

Laurence, on the other hand, was energetic like a proper youth. His eyes were failing, he walked with a cane and needed frequent rest, but his mind was sharper than ever. With no Old Blood to rely on he harnessed all his mental faculties to find other ways to save his patients. That other life had taught him more than Byrgenwerth ever could. His clinic was already gaining some renown across the region. But he wanted more, he wanted a hospital. And Ludwig no longer felt the need to hinder him.

In fact, he felt obligated to help Laurence in every way he could.

Not only was the man doing noble and honest work, his time was… limited.

Ludwig stared into nothingness as Laurence prattled on about what a good nurse and apprentice Ludwig’s maid spy had proven to be.

“Lu?”

Ludwig turned and looked into Laurence’s eyes.

They were dark and misty like the Chalice Dungeons. Laurence’s face was gaunt and angular, his hair was shaggy and greying. Already. He was so young… Ludwig stared at him sadly. He remembered the Laurence he had gone to the dungeons with. He had poor stamina and was unnaturally bony and short compared to most of the scholars, but he never looked quite this bad. How could mere months do this? Was the disease progressing quicker now? Or was Laurence’s misery over his rejection wearing the man out this terribly?

“Lu?” Laurence repeated. “Is something the matter?”

“No…” Ludwig said. “No. Forgive me, I was distracted by a thought. It’s nothing. Do go on.”

Laurence did, and Ludwig watched him, suddenly fully aware of how much he would miss this small cunning man and his brilliant restless mind.


	11. Solstice

Summer ended. The leaves on the trees turned red likes flames and then just like flames rapidly vanished, leaving bare branches in their wake.

Winter cloaked the city in its white embrace. The solstice celebrations were approaching, and Ludwig invited Laurence to join his family for their duration.

The man hesitated, much to Ludwig’s surprise. There was a lot of work at the clinic, he explained sadly. Ludwig couldn’t believe his ears. The same man who used to invent new holidays just to enjoy the festivities now hesitated between a ball and a lonely night tending to the sick and the dangerously inebriated. In the end Laurence agreed to come. But he left Ludwig wondering if this was just another game or a genuine lack of interest.

He would find out soon enough, Ludwig decided.

* * *

The feasting and dancing, the merriment and cheers, all that reached Ludwig as if from afar.

He played his part, as was expected of him. But when he had partaken in enough dancing and idle chatter to satisfy propriety, Ludwig retreated to the edge of the ballroom.

He had kept an eye on Laurence throughout the celebration, but they had not had a chance to talk. The rest of Ludwig’s family had thankfully shown their kinsman’s friend all the warmth and welcome one would expect and more. Laurence’s needs had been accommodated, and a servant was always at his side to help him navigate the sea of celebrating guests.

Now Laurence sat in a quiet corner conversing with Ludwig’s older brother, the future head of the family and thus the likely sponsor of his hospital. Ludwig was momentarily surprised that his brother had found a moment for Laurence earlier than he did, but then again his brother’s fruitful marriage made his name much more infrequent in the ladies’ dancing cards. 

By the time Ludwig reached the two the conversation was concluded with a handshake, and after a few cordial words between brothers, Ludwig found himself one-on-one with Laurence.

The man looked up at him through impossibly thick lenses. His coat looked as if it was empty inside, the sleeves hung loose on unnaturally thin arms. His fingers seemed more fragile than dry twigs.

Laurence was like a bleak shadow, a crescent moon waning to disappear completely. Amidst the vigor and gaiety of the ball he was a solemn memento mori. Or at least that was how Ludwig felt when he faced him after dancing with rosy-cheeked merry noblewomen.

“Happy solstice,” he said softly.

“Happy solstice,” Laurence replied with a smile. 

“Would you like to catch some fresh air? The ballroom feels stuffy.”

Laurence’s eyebrows rose. “Well, I guess…”

“We don’t have to,” Ludwig said and sat down in the armchair his brother just occupied. It suddenly struck him that Laurence with no meat on his bones probably felt the temperature quite differently from him. “I hope the evening is going well for you. I am sorry I couldn’t have joined you earlier, you know how these things are when you are the center of attention.”

“Oh, yes, I remember that.” Laurence smirked. “Find yourself a bride yet?”

“Laurence, please. You’re worse than my great aunts.” Ludwig waved the question away.

“Yes, your parents seem surprisingly laid-back about your status as a bachelor. But I guess that comes with you being the second son…” Laurence picked his cup on a saucer and sipped some tea. “I’m glad I got to meet your family, they are lovely.”

“I wish I could have met yours-” Ludwig replied without thinking and instantly regretted it.

Laurence’s mostly blind eyes stared into nothingness, his cup froze on the way to his mouth.

“I-... I’m sorry, Laurence. I...”

“It’s fine.” Laurence sipped his tea. “Maybe you will meet them one day. If our shared nightmare was an accurate image of the future, my father will need healing in some twenty years from now. I’ll look into his ailment from memory and, if it doesn’t come any earlier, just leave notes. Perhaps he could be cured without the Old Blood or my involvement. He would probably appreciate the latter immensely.”

Ludwig stared at him sadly. He had known about the rift in Laurence’s family, but he hadn’t thought of Laurence’s relatives in a very long time. They’d all been long dead by the time Laurence had turned, just like his own parents and siblings.

It was nice to see them now, alive and well, many happy decades still ahead of them.

All of them, except Laurence.

“Perhaps you should try to make amends with your father?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I know you’ve been disowned in all but name. But perhaps if you made the details of your condition known…”

Laurence laughed bitterly. “Do you think they did not know? The very reason I was sent away to Byrgenwerth was the hope that the unorthodox and hazardous research would kill me even quicker than my ailments. They craved to be rid of me, and it was made very clear that should I ever attempt to return there would be a tragic  _ accident _ on the road.”

Ludwig said nothing. He knew the topic would be painful, but he had never imagined it was that macabre. He remembered Laurence having said a number of times that his family would kill him if he returned, but Ludwig had never thought those words were to be taken literally. Now he felt ashamed.

“I’m sorry that I brought this up, especially like this.”

“No, no, there’s nothing to feel sorry about. I’ve distanced myself from them long ago, it is not a forbidden topic in the slightest,” Laurence assured him. He looked unperturbed. “In fact, I never did tell you how I angered my father so. Since you’ve asked me to come clean, I could very well share the story with you.” Laurence looked out towards the loud celebrant crowd. “Though, perhaps in a more private setting.”

“Perfect, so we could catch some fresh air after all. I’ll have the servants fetch a fur-lined coat for you, if you like.”

“Yes, thank you.” Laurence snorted. “I suppose the frost will save you the blushing at my tale.”

Ludwig shook his head and snorted as well. 


	12. Confession

Outside large snowflakes fell slowly from a dark windless sky. The snow-covered garden was lit by the high windows of the ballroom, but Ludwig preferred to lead Laurence by the arm. Darkness was growing more and more treacherous for the smaller man’s failing sight.

The fur coat, that belonged to Ludwig’s young nephew fit Laurence quite well. It would have been amusing, if not for the reason and implications of Laurence’s condition.

Ludwig felt sad again. But it was pointless to be miserable now. Laurence was still at his side. It was a jubilant evening…

“Very well, what did I tell you of my family? I hardly remember now.”

Ludwig frowned, trying to piece together his own scattered memories. “Well, you had said that you were sent to Byrgenwerth after a quarrel with your father, and that said quarrel led to great animosity between you. You had always refused to elaborate, and I wasn’t one to ask twice.”

“You weren’t.” Laurence agreed with some humor. “Fine. Did you know I was firstborn?”

“No. That is news to me.” Ludwig turned to him in surprise.

“Oh yes, it is so. And I was the only heir for the first seven years of my life. I was sickly, of course, but that made my parents treasure me all the more. They’d had trouble conceiving, you see. So when I was finally born, I was pampered! Tutors, toys, books, love and attention, everything a child could want and more rained on me from the cornucopia of my parents’ desperation. However, after a trip to some miraculous healing hot springs, that failed to heal me, my mother unexpectedly bore me a sister. And then another. And then a brother. Having had such trouble with me, mother and father were cautiously hopeful. To their greatest joy all of my three younger siblings survived infancy. I was forgotten.”

“Hm. So much for unconditional parental love?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Once they had a healthy boy and two healthy girls, crummy old Laurence was not en vogue anymore. I was left to myself with only one tutor and a lot of boredom on my hands. I was a brat, as you can imagine, and I did not take well to being ignored. I terrorized the servants constantly. Sabotaging this, hiding that, sneaking about and sticking my nose into everything. Caught two stable boys rolling in the hay, threatened them I would tell my parents if they didn’t explain what they were doing. They mostly did. When I was in my early teens I got it into my mind that I wanted to roll in the hay with them, so I blackmailed them into it…”

Ludwig coughed.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, you know what I’m capable of.” Laurence didn’t even turn to Ludwig, but flawlessly guessed his outraged expression. “One way or another, they ratted me out to my father. Smart move on their part, being found out in any other manner would have cost them the job or worse. Anyway, when my father began raving about disowning me, my last remaining tutor advised him to send me to Byrgenwerth, which was the same as exile, considering how far it was from my home. I was truly blessed to have had that man on my side, you know. I inwardly celebrated even as I played a martyr in front of my furious father. I was overjoyed at the idea of both leaving home and continuing my education.”

“I imagine.” Ludwig snorted. “So that’s how you became the disgraced young nobleman with no claim to a family name.”

“Yes. Those were some good times.” Laurence sighed wistfully. “How I despised all the other students at first. Children of traders or worse, whom I suddenly had to treat as equals. It was, in the end, very humbling, and made me notice hardship and suffering outside my own. I hooked up with Gehrman, and then… Then one day I met you.” Laurence turned to smile at his companion. “Gehrman always said you were too good for me. But then again, _he_ was also too good for me…” Laurence looked away, no longer smiling. “I guess, everyone is too good for me.”

“What?” Ludwig laughed. “You cannot be serious. Self-deprecation is not your style in the slightest.”

Laurence said nothing and looked down at the snow under their feet.

A moment passed in silence.

“I sent Gehrman into the Dream with no guarantee that he would ever return.”

“Laurence!”

“Like I said, I deserve neither of you. There. I think that’s the last sin I still had on me that I hadn’t yet revealed to you.”

Ludwig scrutinized the small bespectacled man. “Well, none of it happened in the end. I mean the truly awful acts. Your youthful misdoings are of no consequence now.” He thought for a moment. “Tell me, would you do everything all over again, if you had the chance?”

Laurence’s face lit up, and Ludwig thought he had his answer. But the purpose and hope on Laurence’s face faded just as quickly as they’d appeared.

“No. I wouldn’t.”

“Truly?” Ludwig snorted.

“I would rather die.” Laurence pulled the coat tighter around himself. “I’m glad that life is but a dream now. I’ve done nothing but harm in it. Now I know better.”

“Well, it wasn’t all…” Ludwig’s protest died when he remembered all the people who had perished at his own hands as well. “You’re right.”

“I hope you’ll soon be able to bury that nightmare together with me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s the one consolation I have, Ludwig. Let me not feel constantly miserable about my own impending demise, would you?” Laurence stopped and turned to him. There was pain in his accusing misty eyes.

Ludwig stopped and stared at him.

Laurence turned away. “I’m sorry, forget I said anything.”

“No, Laurence…”

“We should go back, everyone will be wondering where you are.” Laurence let go of Ludwig’s arm and went back towards the house, feeling his way with his cane.

Ludwig followed, not even a little festive anymore.


	13. No Time To Waste

Now it was Laurence that hid away under every pretext.

Ludwig was puzzled at first, but then the avoidance began to make sense. Laurence was preparing to die soon. And just as he had done when he was turning into a beast, he was hiding away from Ludwig, distancing himself, because that way, as he mistakenly believed, he could spare Ludwig some of the pain of loss.

Or was it an elaborate scheme, a way to make Ludwig seek him out and fall back in love with him out of pity?

Who was he fooling? Ludwig couldn’t deny he still loved the little devil. But perhaps it was wisest to let him go… Let him go and know he spent the last few years of his joyless sickly life alone, working himself to death? Again?

Ludwig was furious. At himself, at Laurence. At the world that had to combine the perfect cure with a horrid curse.

And in his fury he found he was no longer afraid of the dark, of closed doors and of horses. He was too angry to be afraid. So he went hunting on horseback.

The memories of the nightmare made his skin crawl at first, but soon they receded and memories of this real untainted life woke anew his joy of life as he rushed through the forest, hunting proper entirely mundane prey.

He came back home and embraced his family. He laughed and drank and ate.

And when he looked at an empty chair by his side, he knew what he had to do.


	14. Reunion

Laurence scrutinized his own writing. His face felt hot from being so close to the oil lamp, but in the dead of night he could only make out writing when he held it inches from the darn thing. He squinted until his head hurt. It was useless. He put the notes away. It was time to move to Braille.

It was easier during the day when Ludwig’s maid was up and about. Initially sent to spy on Laurence, she proved to be invaluable help. Quite passionate about the craft too. Had she been around, Laurence would have just asked her to read the fragment to him. Alas.

Laurence took off his glasses and rubbed his weary eyes with the heels of his hands. He was tired, but also sleepless. So he could as well work. It wasn’t as if there was anything else left for him to do. There was still a lot of knowledge he could share with the world, so he had to write these anatomical papers. It wasn’t very fun, just writing memories down, but it was better than lying in bed remembering how it had felt when he would do so in good company.

The memory made his eyes sting.

Ludwig was so handsome and noble and heroic, and he was a gnat. It was for the better that they were separated. Ludwig would find himself a wife and bring more good strong people into the world. Laurence smiled sadly. It would have been wonderful to live to see Ludwig’s children. They would probably be just as handsome, and tall too.

There was a knock on the door outside.

Laurence frowned. At this hour of night?

He put his glasses back on, pulled his dressing gown tight and set to tying his belt as he walked through the study, and then with some effort through the rest of the small clinic.

“Coming!” he announced loudly as he got closer to the door. Finally he opened the door just a little without unlatching the door chain. It paid to be prudent. Miscreants had come to visit at such a time before. “Good  _ evening _ , my good fellow. How may I help you?”

“Opening the door properly would be a nice start.”

“Ludwig?” Laurence gaped. Sight didn’t tell him much, but the voice… He would recognize that voice anywhere. He quickly undid the chain and opened the door properly. “Is something the matter?”

“No.” Ludwig stepped in and pulled the small man into a warm embrace. “Nothing is the matter.”

“Why, it seems like something is,” Laurence protested. “I fail to see how what is transpiring is normal in the slightest.” He squirmed out of Ludwig’s hold and stepped back unsteadily. “I take it, you must have a reason…”

“Come home with me.”

“What?”

“The maid I sent to you lives under the same roof, doesn’t she? She can look after the few patients you have in there while you’re gone for the night.”

“Why would I-”

“Laurence.”

“...”

“I still love you.”

“I was afraid you do.”

“Laurence,” Ludwig laughed softly. “I won’t let you play me into abandoning you twice. I’d rather let you play me into being with you again.”

“I’m not playing!” Laurence said angrily. “You know I am going to die! And probably soon!”

“And thus time is precious, come with me.”

“You mean it?”

“Absolutely.”

“But you… No…” Laurence stepped back into the darkness of the corridor. “There is no point. You should forget me, get married, have children.”

“I never would.”

“Why?” Laurence looked shaken.

“Because I could never love someone else like I love you.”

Laurence shook his head as if trying to deny what he just heard.

Ludwig did not let him retreat further and in a few steps crossed the distance between them and pulled Laurence close again. The smaller man was shaking. Ludwig stroked his back and kissed his temple. 

“I mean it, Laurence, I love you, I want to be with you again.”

“After all I’ve done?”

“After all you’ve forsaken.”

“I don’t deserve you…”

“That is not true. Truly, we deserve each other. But if again you start playing with my heart and stripping random men, I swear, I will tie you to my bed, and there you’ll stay till the end of your days.”

“What?” Laurence laughed. “I haven’t so much as looked at another man since the dream.”

“Oh, really? My own eyes tell me otherwise.”

Laurence stared up at Ludwig with a frown. “I genuinely have no idea.”

“That time, in your study.”

“Damn it, Ludwig! I was with a patient! Have you such a low opinion of me that I would take advantage of a boy that young?!” Laurence slammed his bony fist against Ludwig’s muscular chest.

Ludwig laughed. “Well, you told me how you handed Maria to Gehrman-”

“It was a joke!”

“You also told me you had children kidnapped-”

“It was for a higher purpose!”

Ludwig snorted.

Laurence fumed for a moment, but then calmed down. “You don’t have to worry about me straying anymore, I can assure you of that. I can hardly see people. Not to mention getting attracted to them. Maybe if someone had a very sensual voice, but then who knows, maybe it’s a woman in disguise, or maybe he’s fat and balding…”

Ludwig laughed. “You’re hopeless.”

“And you still want me?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re just mad then.”

“Mad in love, I am.”

“You’re not leaving without me, are you?”

“I’m not.”

Laurence chuckled. “Well, damn it all then. Take me!”

Ludwig did.


	15. Limitations

Their first night together was nothing like Ludwig had imagined.

He was convinced that Laurence would have been starved for that kind of attention, and yet his lover shied away from touch, insisted on darkness and in general seemed to be constantly on edge as they stripped each other in Ludwig’s bed. 

“What troubles you, Laurence?”

“Nothing.”

“Remember, you were supposed to be honest with me.”

Laurence groaned and curled up into a ball. “I’m sorry. I really want this, but do you? I look like some kind of stunted Pthumerian.”

“Nonsense. You’re bony, yes, but that matters nothing to me.”

“Hmpf.”

“Laurence…” Ludwig purred and pulled the curled up man closer. “This is unlike you. You’re getting me worried.”

“It _is_ unlike me. I told you, I am hopeless, I am done. I-...” Laurence’s expression turned frightened. “I’m not sure I can even…  _ do this _ anymore.”

Ludwig shook his head. “Even if you cannot, it doesn’t matter. I was never the one who chased after every robe in Cathedral Ward. I will be just as happy loving you without the carnality.”

“But I want the carnality!” Laurence protested.

“Then let’s give it a try. And if it doesn’t feel right to you, that is fine.” Ludwig turned the stubborn little man around and leaned in close to touch foreheads with him. “I will love you in whichever way pleases us both, and I don’t want you hurting yourself in an attempt to please me, alright?”

Laurence sighed. “You, Ludwig, are a blasted saint.”

Ludwig laughed.

Laurence kissed him.

As he had feared his body failed him that night, but it mattered little. When he fell asleep in Ludwig’s arms, for the first time since he left Byrgenwerth he felt truly happy.


	16. Epilogue

Decades had passed like weeks. It had been a happy life. And not as short as Laurence had feared. If anything, it had been too long.

His hair must have grown gray, his skin was surely wrinkled. But Ludwig was still young and handsome before his mind’s eye, even as Laurence sat at his aged lover’s deathbed.

“How will I go on without you?” he whispered.

Ludwig’s large hand touched his face gently. It felt cool against Laurence’s wet burning cheek.

“Sh, my love. I will always be with you.”

“I was supposed to die first, you stupid lout!”

“Yes... all that melodrama for nothing. What a waste…” Ludwig snorted softly.

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. I promise. I will wait for you on the other side. Think of it as a long trip.”

“I can’t live without you-”

“Yes, you can. I lived many long years after I lost you, Laurence. And you are stronger than me by far. Do not rush death. It will come for you in its own time. And when it does, we’ll be together for all eternity.” Ludwig’s voice was weak but confident. “Meanwhile you’ve a hospital to run, there’s doctors and scholars crowding on your doorstep, begging for scraps of your brilliance. Don’t rob the world of your genius prematurely.”

“I don’t want to live without you.” Laurence shook his head. He took Ludwig’s hand in both of his. “I can’t…”

“Yes, you can. I love you, Laurence. But it would grieve me terribly to know that you ended your own life just to rejoin me in oblivion sooner. Promise that you will do no such thing.”

Laurence sobbed. “I promise.”

“Then I can depart in peace.”

“Lu, please, please, don’t leave me. Not yet…”

The large hand Laurence was clutching went limp.

* * *

The years after Ludwig’s death dragged on.

They weren’t nightmarish, no. Somewhat painful, somewhat hollow when Laurence woke alone after dreaming of the man he loved more than life itself. But he was never lonely. Ludwig’s nephews and nieces and then their children too all flocked to him like he was some kind of eccentric but beloved uncle. Ludwig’s bloodline kept financing his research, and Ludwig’s family had long since become family to him as well.

Only one thing pained Laurence - the wax cylinders he had used to record Ludwig’s voice as they were growing old had worn off so badly the recording sounded almost nothing like his lover and hardly like speech at all. In the end they were too painful to listen to, and Laurence instead found solace in the echos of Ludwig he heard in the voices of the man's kin.

When death came for him, Laurence did not die alone. Ludwig’s great nieces and nephews crowded around him, some because they were his apprentices in the medical field, others out of sentiment. Tears were shed, warm words were said.

It was a good way to go.

* * *

Laurence woke.

There was light. It was dim, but it was definitely there. Something like a haze.

Laurence gasped. There were cobbles under him. Grass shot out between them catching wisps of mist. Weakly he tried to rise on unsteady feet. He could see…

A gloved hand appeared before him, and he grasped it eagerly.

Ludwig pulled him up and smiled. He looked just like Laurence remembered him. Young, handsome, vigorous.

Laurence brought a hand to his mouth in shock. He could see. Ludwig was alive. He stared around himself wildly.

“Is this… the Hunter’s Workshop?”

“Thirty years I wait for you, and this is the greeting I receive?” Ludwig laughed. “Underwhelming to say the least. But yes, this is indeed the Hunter’s Workshop.”

Laurence threw himself on Ludwig and wept in his silky dark hair. Ludwig held him close and laughed.

“Now, that’s more like it!”

“I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too.”

They held each other for a while. Then Ludwig carefully set his lover back down. When Laurence was done gaping at Ludwig, he began gawking at their surroundings. 

“Is this the Hunter’s Dream?”

“Yes.”

“I… can’t believe it…” Laurence whispered. “I don’t feel old or ill anymore, my eyes… I’ve never seen this well without the Old Blood!”

“That’s good. I could use your help with the task we’ve been given.”

“A task?”

“Yes, while you were living out the rest of your life above ground, I’ve been haunting the Chalice Dungeons as a spectral guardian. It’s our new master’s price for our private piece of an afterlife - to prevent the nightmares of the Scourge of ever repeating again. A just cause if you ask me.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Laurence nodded energetically. “But all of this is so much to take in! What are all these dolls dressed like hunters that are scattered all over the place?”

“It’s… a long story. Perhaps one day our host will enlighten you.” Ludwig smiled. “But for now, the Great One is gone, and we’ve years to catch up on as I show you the ropes.”

“So we are alone here?”

“Indeed we are. Not a problem for me, I’m glad with but your company for all eternity. But for you, Laurence, once more a picture of health and no one to cheat on me with, this must be Hell.”

“If this is Hell,” Laurence laughed, “then I am glad I have sinned!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Please, do tell me how you liked the story! I would appreciate it. :3 I will try to draw something for this later, time permitting. If I manage, you'll be able to find it on [my blog](http://zlukaka.tumblr.com/tagged/bloodborne).


End file.
